What the Terrible Twos and Midlife have in common

We know that toddlers are learning to walk, talk and test boundaries. We know about the "terrible twos" when every request seems to be met with a determined "No!" We know that teenagers are busy figuring out who they are, pushing for independence, challenging authority, rolling their eyes, expressing strong opinions, and testing out different identities. We know about the sassy teenage girls, the grunting teenage boys, and the emotional rollercoaster that can come with adolescence.

Most of us are familiar with these developmental stages because we either lived through them ourselves or watched our children go through them.

Yet many of us assume that once we reach adulthood, we've somehow arrived and that the major developmental work is done.

In reality, we continue to evolve throughout our lives. The questions simply change.

And one of the most important developmental stages emerges in midlife.

When I studied career development in the early 2000s, two of the developmental psychologists whose work fascinated me were Erik Erikson and Donald Super. Their theories helped me understand something that I now see every day in my coaching practice:

Erikson called it Generativity vs Stagnation.

Generativity is the natural human desire to contribute, guide, support and pass on what we've learned. It's the urge to use our experience in service of something beyond ourselves.

Think about a time when you've shared your knowledge, mentored someone, solved a problem using years of hard-earned experience, or helped another person navigate a challenge.

How did it feel?

Chances are it felt energising. Meaningful. Like your life experience actually mattered.

Now think about a role where you felt underutilised. Where your ideas weren't valued. Where you weren't learning, growing, contributing or making a difference.

How did that feel?

Many of my clients describe it as:

"This is pointless." "I'm wasting my life." "I'm bored."

People often assume this feeling is that they are lacking motivation. They feel like they don't have energy for anything. I don't think it is about motivation at all. I think it's because they have a lack of meaning. 

For many women, midlife creates the perfect conditions for this question to surface.

Their children are becoming more independent. They don't need to be physically present in the same way they once were. There is finally a little more breathing room.

Many women reach midlife and realise they still have a significant chapter of their working lives ahead of them. Rather than simply filling the years, they want to make something of them. They want to bring together everything they've learned, everything they've become, and direct it toward work that feels meaningful, purposeful, and aligned. They have decades of valuable experience and wisdom and bucketloads of EQ. 

In Erikson's terms, they are being pulled toward generativity and interestingly, neuroscience supports this too.

Research by neuroscientist and psychologist Emily Falk has found that when we share knowledge and ideas we find meaningful, it activates the brain's reward system, the same regions associated with things like food and money.

The act of contributing, mentoring and sharing what you've learned nourishes something deeply human within us.

That's why so many people discover that the career questions they thought were about finding a new job are actually deeper than that.

The real question is often: How do I want to contribute?

Your curiosities, interests and experiences are big career clues that point toward the contribution you are here to make and the ways your wisdom can be put to use.

Perhaps that's one of the greatest gifts of midlife.

By this stage of life, you've gathered experiences, lessons, skills and insights that simply weren't available to you in your twenties. Midlife offers an opportunity to bring those pieces together, to understand yourself more deeply, and to direct what you've learned toward work that feels meaningful.

It is a season of becoming more fully yourself and using everything you've learned in service of something that matters.

If you're a mid-career woman who has been quietly wondering:

·       What do I want this next chapter of my life and career to look like?

·       How do I want to contribute?

·       Where can I put my experience, wisdom and strengths to best use?

·       What would work look like if it truly fit who I am today?

Then I want you to know that you're not alone.

These are some of the most common questions I hear from women who have built successful careers, raised families, supported others, and achieved many of the things they once wanted and yet find themselves feeling called toward something more meaningful, aligned, or fulfilling.

That's exactly why I created 'Become Your Own Pathfinder'.

Pathfinder is a guided process that helps you reconnect with yourself, uncover what's important to you now, and identify career paths that align with the person you've become.

The next intake opens in July.

If you'd like to be the first to hear when doors open, receive early access, exclusive bonuses, and support as you navigate your own midlife metamorphosis, I'd love to invite you to join the Priority List.

👉 Join the Priority List here

Because this chapter isn't about starting over.

It's about bringing together everything you've learned, everything you've become, and creating a future that feels deeply meaningful to you.

I'd love to help you uncover what your next chapter could look like.

xo Liz

P.S. Your curiosity is trying to tell you something. If you've been hearing whispers that there might be another path, another possibility, or a more meaningful way to contribute, I'd encourage you to listen. Those whispers are often where the journey begins.

Join the Priority List here