I’ve been telling my clients to network for years. Turns out… I wasn’t really walking the talk

Yesterday at my fortnightly New Zealand Business Women's Network meeting, I was put on the spot and asked why I joined… and had to answer in front of the whole group.

So I told the truth.

When I first left my role as a careers consultant at the University of Auckland and went full-time in my business, I was flat out. I had plenty of clients and, if I’m honest, I didn’t think I needed a formal network. I’d already made up a story about what it would be — a room full of people trying to sell to each other. It felt a bit sleazy, if I’m honest… so I just wasn’t interested.

Then 2025 hit.

There was a recession, and at the same time I’d made a pretty big pivot in my business. I stopped working with school leavers, uni students, and people just needing help with CVs and interviews — which had always been a steady stream of work — and focused fully on mid-career professionals. I launched Become Your Own Pathfinder, which is the work I really love… helping people in that Soul Search and Research phase, not just job hunting.

And I genuinely thought it would be an easy sell.

It wasn’t.

It was a bit of a perfect storm — changing my business model, turning away consistent income, and doing it in a tougher economic climate. Oomph.

That’s when I realised I probably needed to step things up a bit.

So I went along as a guest to NZ Business Women’s at the end of 2025, and joined at the start of this year. By the second session, I’d already sold a place in my program… which was great!

But what surprised me most wasn’t the business side of it.

It was how much I actually enjoyed it.

We’re encouraged to catch up with other members for coffee, get to know what they do, and look for ways to support each other through referrals. And I’ve genuinely loved it. The conversations, the laughs, getting to know people properly — it’s felt less like “networking” and more like making new friends.

And it’s also made me realise something.

For YEARS I’ve been telling my clients, “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know — you need to be networking.” And I do network… I’ve always made an effort to have a coffee catch-up most weeks.

But that’s kind of where it stopped.

Being part of NZBW has completely shifted that for me. It’s taken it from casual to much more intentional — and, honestly, more effective. Because the reality is, I’m only one person. I can’t meet everyone.

So now I think about it differently.

I think about who my Advocates are — people like the women in my NZBW group. The people who respond, who are generous, who are well-connected, who actually want to help. And I make an effort to stay in touch with them, keep them in the loop, and look for ways I can support them too.

And then there are others who are harder to engage… and instead of chasing those relationships, I just don’t put as much energy there anymore.

That one shift has been huge.

Because networking — real networking — isn’t about collecting contacts or having endless coffees. It’s about building relationships that actually move things forward, for both people.

And in this new world of work, that matters more than ever.

With tools like ChatGPT and everything happening with AI, so much of what used to make us “valuable” is now automated. Information is everywhere. Skills are changing quickly.

But relationships? That’s the one thing that’s not going anywhere.

If anything, networking has become even more important. I keep reading that its importance has effectively quadrupled in this new world of work.

So the question is — how do you actually do this, especially if you’re not a business owner or part of a formal network like NZBW?

There are so many ways.

And I’d love to share them with you.

I’m running a 90-minute workshop called Networking in the Age of AI on 29 April at 12pm — it’s just $29 — where I’ll walk you through why this matters (now more than ever), and how to do it in a way that feels natural — not forced or salesy.

👉 Save your spot

Because the opportunities you’re looking for?

They’re far more likely to come through people than a job ad.

Where it all started — a room full of smart, generous women, and the moment I realised networking isn’t about selling… it’s about connection.